“Not sure what the situationship is, but we were graftin’ for weeks before I got benched.”

Say what?

If that sent your brain spinning, then A) you’re not alone and B) we’re here to help. We’ve researched* and defined all the essential dating terms you need to know in 2020. Because the language of love can be awfully confusing.

But first, you know what’s not confusing? Today’s exclusive offers on additional phones and SIMs.

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Now, let’s uncomplicate your love life, shall we? Read on for all the important terminology you need to survive in the dating world.

 

Situationship

 

 

Caught in something that’s not quite friendship but not a full-blown relationship? You’ve found yourself in a situationship, friend. As long as both people are aware of the ‘situation’, all is well. But if one person wants more or doesn’t realise they’re in a situationship, then hello, confrontationship.

Ex: We’re not exclusive and it’s not serious. Hard to define, but we’re in situationship territory.

 

Grafting

 

 

There’s nothing new about grafting – just ask a Scot. But, recently, your favourite island lovers have made this term for flirting go viral. Grafting is a cheeky way of saying you’re working hard/using all your charm/completely exhausted by flirting.

Ex: I was grafting hard on this girl at the pub, but she gave me a fake number.

 

Benching

 

 

Benching is keeping someone close enough to think they have a chance while dating around to see if you can do better. It’s kind of a jerk move, but we’ve all probably done it. How can you tell you’re being benched? If plans are always last minute and you’re not hanging out consistently, chances are you’re on the bench. See also: sidelined, backuped, shelved.

Ex: He’s nice enough, but not sure he’s my type. I’m benching him just in case, though.

 

Breadcrumbing

 

 

Breadcrumbing is a tell-tale sign that you’re being benched. Breadcrumbs are flirty texts or DMs that keep you hooked but don’t result in anything serious. Imagine copy-and-pasted messages that can be sent out to multiple people. If the messages sound generic and there’s no in-person follow up, those are breadcrumbs, mate.

Ex: They keep leaving me breadcrumbs, but we never actually hang out. I think I’m benched.

 

Zombieing

 

 

Who says romance is dead?

Zombieing is the delightful term for when the person you’re dating vanishes and then rises from the dead weeks, months, even years later.

Ever receive a text from your ex who fell off the face of the earth?

“Hey…WYD?”

You’ve been zombied.

Ex: I thought I got ghosted, but she zombied me 2 months later out of nowhere.

 

There you have it. All the terms you need to survive in the modern dating world.  So text your ex, get grafting over DMs, and send some sweet selfies to your situationship. And why not do it all on your new iPhone Xs or with our commitment-free 36GB SIM?

PS: Check back tomorrow for more incredible deals.

*By research we mean watched loads of reality TV, obviously.

 

 

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